Swimming with the Sharks

First things first: I will live underwater. This is partly due to the surface's uninhabitableness from years and years of human exploitation of nature. At one point in history (I apologize for ruining your furture), the world's crude oil resources will all run out and we will go through a decade of walking and developing new technologies such as the the solar powered car, the water powered car, and the hover car - all of which will ultimately end up costing the American people millions of dollars in taxes, and a good number of lives. Underwater I will live in a climate controlled biodome that is tailored to my specific human needs, and it shall be right next door to a shark, with whom I converse frequently due to new technologies. Sharks are surprisingly docile creatures, though I wouldn't allow one to babysit (quick temper, you must understand). The water is always warm, and through a system of multiple tubes and the like, we are able to visit the surface - which we are currently trying to restore, as well as get fresh air and sunshine (the artificial stuff underwater doesn't always satisfy). Not only that, but humans will have adapted significantly. The educational system will have developed to the point where we receive an hour of instruction a day via direct injections of intelligence to our brains, and are fluent in over thirty undersea languages. And of course, the Chinese got underwater first.