From Here to Death

1. Before I graduate high school, I want to win State in Academic Team. I really love the sport and it would be a terrific way to cap-off my high-school career to unequivocally assert the supremacy of our team in the state of Kentucky. Moreover, I'd want the win for my friends on the team: Cullen, Zach, Carson and Michael. They've put in a lot of work and have been the best team-mates I could ask for, so they duly deserve the best award for a team in the state. But most importantly, I cannot stomach the thought of Dunbar winning another championship. I truly despise their entire team for everything they have ever been, currently are, or ever will be. I delight in their failure, and will rejoice when we prove to them their glaring inferiority.

2. While in College, I hope to spend a lot of real, quality-time with every sorority on  campus. I hope to do so, for I truly believe in my heart that sorority girls are the most upstanding and magnificent members of our society. The way in which they bond together and socialize for the benefit of others is simply beautiful. Their blithe zeal and selfless enthusiasm brings happiness to innumerable and often un-nameable individuals. Community-service is not just an academic requirement for them— it is a way of life. Their philanthropic nature embodies the ideals of civic virtue. They are selfless, and constantly give and give. If more girls were like sorority girls, I really believe the world would be a happier place. I believe just a week with about thirty of them could really instruct me on what it means to truly give with every shred of my body. But, in all honesty, I cannot match them; I think they would exhaust me with their insatiable appetite for pleasing others. Just kidding about all that. The temptation got the best of me. I figure in College I will want to challenge my comfort zone. And experiment. For instance, hang out with people I have very little, at least superficially, in common with, for instance, Liberal, non-Christian people. I think it is important to learn a lot about others, in order to be more tolerant, and to some extent be more enlightened. I'll hope for them to teach me some stuff, and for me to teach them some stuff (don't you just love how unclear the word stuff is?). Heck, maybe convert an atheist or two. It would be fun.

3. By the time I am dead, I want to date a Victoria Secret's super-model. I would love to see what it is like to maintain a purely physical relationship, namely, what it is like to date the most vapid, insolent, unintelligent, sexiest piece of meat in the world. Truth is, it'll probably be absolutely miserable after a night or two. But nonetheless,  it is an experience to have. Additionally, I made a bet with my sister's friend while watching the Victoria Secret's Fashion Show (yes, I was drooling) that by the time I am sixty I will bag at least one Victoria Secret's  super-model. And I do not like to lose. So it'll happen. However, the thing I fear most is that after the model gets a taste, she just won't be able to let me go. Wish me luck.