The Candy Man

If you like chocolate as much as I do, then you can easily understand why I would pick Willy Wonka as my fictional character that I would be. First of all, I would obviously have an enormous candy factory and would be able to gorge myself anytime I pleased. If that isn't enough to seal the deal, I would essentially get free labor from the Oompa Loompas, serving as candy makers and inventors. This would take even most of the thinking out of the job for me. My favorite part of the factory would of course be The Chocolate Room, which is better known as the room with edible scenery and a chocolate river. And to top it all off, I would be the proud owner of the most terrifying boat ride in the entire world. You all know what I'm talking about. Don't pretend that seeing Gene Wilder scream a poem in a psychedelic tunnel wasn't the scariest thing you've ever seen in your life up to that point.