I'm pretty sure Nick likes comics

Well, after knowing Nick from last year I can pretty much say that sitting next to him hasn't helped me get to know him any better. I share a lot of interests with Nick: videogames, comics, movies, etc. I don't like comics nearly as much as he does, but it's always fun to see his reaction when I try to claim that Batman can only marry Batwoman or that "X-man" is the immortal one with the claws. If I had to assign a color to Nick, It would probably be the color of Grey Poupon. I can't explain why so don't ask. In five years he'll be in a college dorm with a stack of comic books and videogames. I think Nick's a cool guy, we can always find something to talk about because of our shared interests, and he always wears his flash ring with his matching Flash shirt.

Alas, Late!

I sit next to Vanessa Fu in English (and many other classes) and it's been a delight. She's nice and helpful all of the time. Most of the time I'll forget 50 Essays, but she has it!

Vanessa has been in orchestra for a while and, from what I've heard, very talented. She's even made it into All State! I believe she also plays piano, but I might be mistaken.

She likes the Hunger Games series (I do, too) and wants to see the movie (I do, too). She's actually the one who got me on to the books in the first place.

Overall, she's a pretty quiet person alone but loves to talk about stuff with Bella (who sits to my right). She's always kind and I've never witnessed her speak ill of anyone. If we end up switching seats next semester, I'll miss the pleasantness of sitting next to Vanessa Fu.

Seat Partner

Where to begin? First of all, I cannot decide which of my seat partners to write about. Think about it: Barrett vs Clay? Really? Hard choice.

Since I have known him longer, I will choose Clay. What do I know about Clay.... He is in a band, Chewy and The Dinosaur King, KYA, Lacrosse, and, most importantly, marching band. He's always friendly and working to help his friends, and even strangers. Everyone knows Clay as a fun loving guy who rarely gets mad at anyone. It's hard to pick a color for Clay, but I would have to say a light blue. Like a clear sky, his positive personality easily brightens up a day. He does not let obstacles stand in his way, nor frustrate him (aside from the occasional forgotten assignment). I see him being a large, golden dog. Like a dog, Clay is a loyal friend, trustworthy, fun, and happy no matter the circumstances. So here's to you, Clay. Thanks for being an awesome table buddy!

ze two best seat partners, in my opinion

I am quite lucky to sit next to Ryan and Roshnee, because I like them both! That is why I cannot just pick one of them, thus I will write about both.

I’ve known Ryan Pratt since middle school, and because he was/is good friends with Clay (who is practically my brother- no really, his mom even used to come all the way from Heartland just to take me home…without him, and we continuously plot mischievous ways to hack his facebook and text messages together to find out who his newest girlfriend is) I would always see him at the Cox’s house. He was always nice and did not make fun of me in the 7^th grade when one of his friends started a mean rumor, which was false, about me. Because of our last names, every year I have sat next to him in at least one class. From the comments we made in Behler’s class about the music choices and the ones we continue to make during class discussions, to the time I classically conditioned him to flinch every time I said a certain name, I’ve always enjoyed sitting next to him. Ryan is a nice guy with his head down to earth. Kudos to you friend! I would characterize him as a black color, not because of his concert shirts, but because it is a color that easily goes with everything and has a cloud of mystery around it. In five years I see him graduating from University of Chicago, and playing in a band every Monday night at a nice little café, oh and staying in touch with his favorite seat partner- of course.

Roshnee Raithatha! If I started writing about her, I could probably have the same amount of pages as Anna Karenina, if not more. Therefore, I will give you rosh posh in a nutshell. Roshnee and I had a couple of classes together freshman year, but we did not truly get to know each other until one day in Biology at the end of the year we were allowed to listen to our ipods and we bonded over Backstreet Boys songs from our childhood. Then, it was only a matter of time before we realized how similar our parent’s mindsets are, how we feel about certain trends, and our love of New Yawk. Sophmore year we got even closer, tricking the teacher into seating us together, making code names for people as to not give any information to our eavesdropping Chen, scaring each other with talk of college, and of course this year telling each other A LOT of, um, things. If Roshnee was any color, it would be bright red. This is because she is confident in what she says and does, has a bright personality, and is one of the most trustworthy people I know. Plus, it is a flattering color for her (; In five years, I see her graduating from Washington University, preparing for medical school in the city at Cornell, wearing those Tory Burch boots she so dearly wants. If she was an animal, she would be a black teacup poodle.

Assignment 15: Do You Know Your Neighbor?

You are juniors. You are in the Academy. You sit next to each other in Mr. Logsdon's class. There are only a few days until the end of the semester.

I think it is safe to say that you, at least, know a little about each other. Your understanding of each other may include extra curriculars, favorite TV shows, hobbies, but your level of familiarity may also extend into knowing each other's personality. Are they intimidating, carefree, honest?

This week, write about the person you sit next to in English class. What do they do? What are they like? What color would you characterize them as and why? Where do you see them in five years? What type of animal are they like?

I know you're in a seating chart, but you are writing about your peers. Getting to know you for the past few months, I have seen you as genuinely nice people and so I expect genuinely nice things in your posts. It doesn't have to be all puppies and ice cream cones, but your entries shouldn't cut anyone down.

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, December 4 at 11:59 pm.

thanksgiving

My usual Thanksgiving is rather different compared to American families, but all in all it's the same idea. During Thanksgiving break there usually is an Asian party every night to attend to. Instead of spending the holiday with quality family time, we spend it with the Asian community.

The food is really yummy; it's a potluck so every family brings a dish or two, and the hostess usually makes a nice delicious turkey. First the kids get their dinner, then the grandparents, and then the parents. Afterwards the grandparents set up to play mahjong, which is a traditional Chinese game, the parents get ready to play cards all night long, and the kids gather around to play games, like hide-n-seek or sardines, or watch a movie.

Overall it's a different experience than a real Thanksgiving dinner. To tell you the truth, I think it's an excuse to throw a party. But it's nice, to be able to spend this holiday with people you love and to give thanks. And, of course, the food is delicious. Not the traditional turkey with gravy and stuffing, but it'll do.

Turkey Day

Disappointingly enough, my Thanksgiving is most similar to the old-fashioned, stereotypical dinner setting. Every year, my family takes a road trip up to Olive Hill, Kentucky, a small town near the eastern border of the state, to meet with my grandmother, aunt, and uncle. In previous years, my cousins had driven all the way from Little Rock, Arkansas to meet us there as well, but recently they haven't been able to show up due to how difficult a trip like that is to make. However, despite how uninteresting it sounds, I always have a great time at Thanksgiving, if, for no other reason, the fact that it's a break from school and is generally pretty relaxing. I don't really have any distinct memories from Thanksgivings in the past either, but something interesting to share is that this year, my grandmother decided to fix beef roast instead of a turkey. I was a bit disappointed because I'm not really a huge fan of beef, but hey, it was a pretty good roast, and the side dishes definitely made up for the lack of turkey.

Pass the turkey!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Aside from the abundance of delicious food, I love getting to spend quality time with family I only get to see a couple of times a year. An annual tradition at our Thanksgiving gathering is to videotape the festivities and then sit down and watch the previous year. It’s quite comical actually. I thoroughly enjoy witnessing the physical and emotional changes that have taken place in a year’s time. One of my favorite memories from Thanksgiving was actually from last year when we all came together and play Karaoke Revolution on the Wii. Watching it on the TV again this year, it was awesome to see how much love was seen in one room. Everyone was laughing and getting along great. Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday where families can come together and people can realize just how truly blessed they really are.

Thanksgiving

In a sense, it was your idyllic Thanksgiving setting. A stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, Dad's delicious cranberry salad, all feasted upon by a hungry and happy family. It was nearly picturesque with the contemporary idea of the holiday.

And yet, I didn't enjoy it too much. I usually don't. Perhaps it is because of the most recent installment in the Zelda franchise and the way in which it calls to me, as if begging to be played. Thanksgiving, however, seems to take precedence over video games in my family, for some reason. Or maybe it's because of the fairly extensive use of alcohol. I do have a particularly low tolerance for drunkenness. But I imagine that what really gets me about the holiday is how secluded I feel from the rest of the family on this occasion. The rest of my family, caught up in its traditionalistic values, places large emphasis on the religious aspects of Thanksgiving. As an atheist, I bow my head in awkward shame rather than religious grace when my grandfather recites his customary dinner-table prayer. Not a year passes without a question thrown in my direction about my religious preferences, or lack thereof. The questions aren't cruel, but they certainly have that twinge of pseudo-disgust that comes with a clashing of beliefs. So I sit in silence and eat my fill, plagued by the notion that I am different from the rest of my family and that this is how they see it, too.

Thank

Our Thanksgivings usually depend on who is in town and whether my grandma is too sick to cook or not. We invite whoever is in town, but various aunts and uncles are usually not able to make it. Every year thanksgiving is usually done at either my house or my grandparents' house. They don't live very far away so where we go is completely dependent on how well my grandma is feeling. We play it by ear up until the day before and if she's too frail to cook a lot then my parents cook and everyone comes to our house. If my grandma is up for cooking then we go out to my grandparents house and the cooking is split between the two households. The cooking is less than other people's because we don't host giant gatherings with everyone on the continent who has a drop of Parkin blood.

My dad is british so we have some british food like Yorkshire Puddings. We don't ever watch sports. Ever.

happens every year

My thanksgivings change every year; thank you divorce and loose custody agreements. I average about 3 or 4 thanksgivings a year with about 5 different family groups.

The Gordons are probably the closest to me genetically and geographically, but the furthest in terms of personality; this is also the Jewish faction of my thanksgiving community. My mom, grandma corn nuts, grandpa ice cream, uncle teddy bear, great aunt Estelle, and all the lawyers in Lousville all sit on this side of the table in November. If you were to strike up a random conversation at my dinner table, this group of people wouldn't let you penetrate their blanket of slightly entertaining stories and anecdotes, so don't try. The only person who I truly consistently get along with would be my grandpa who is losing his hearing and hair at about the same pace.

Most of my thanksgivings are now spent, by default, with the Foster family; otherwise known as the step family. For 5 years Darren (step-dad), Chaz, Jessica, Nathan, and various grandparents and uncles have shared the dining room with us. My mother and Darren do not have a legally bound relationship and have rough patches but have ended up together every thanksgiving. I am normally placed, at meal time with the step siblings at a fold up card table.

The LaZur family is definitely expresses the most resemblance to me; our thanksgivings include a table full of Turkey, lots of *unkosher* ham, gallons upon gallons of the wonderful elixer that is stuffing, buckets of gravy, about 6 pies, rolls, and so much more is under this top layer of food. All shared between me, my brother, dad, grandma, several aunts and uncles, and whoever happens to call us up for the holidays. The table conversation is little but delightfully entertaining and not normal. We waddle to the couch and watch recorded hockey games on DVR because we hate commercials and want to finish the sports games first so we can play PS3. This year I spent my major thanksgiving dinner in North Carolina with this faction of the family.

I know I said I have like 5 groups of families but I think the other two would be my step mom's family and either my rabbi and temple members or the residents at the stewart home.

thanksgiving

Holidays have never been a big deal in my family. Usually we just sit around and do what we would usually do on a weekend or a day off. Sometimes we would have friends over seeing as how we have close to no family around here. Every thanksgiving we go to our neighbor's family for an early dinner/late lunch. They have a huge family that is always there and two boys that are my age that I hang out with. The meal over at our neighbor's place is the basic thanksgiving meal with turkey and pumpkin pie and the football games in the basement with lots of family and conversation. My favorite part of the holidays would definitely just be lounging around the house with no school and getting lost in a good novel. I still skate during the breaks and also spend lots of time hanging out and talking to friends.

BIG family

My turkey day usually consists of my oversized family gathering around a group of undersized tables and staying in a much to small home. thanksgiving is the only holiday that our family has a near consesus on trying all things possible to see each other. there may be other holidays that a few people spring up for christmas, or travel down for Easter, but generally thanksgiving is the day EVERYONE tries to come. this tahnksgiving i ate with, in total, 28 family members. this occured in two different houses, and in total around 5 different dinner tables, not counting the plates that were taken to the couch or just held standing in the kitchen. this year was a bit of a break on rooming, seeing as there was only 10 people in a 3 bedroom house. this is because my family traveled up to Michigan where most of my family members live. this years dinners were also eaten on seperate days, one mianly consisting of my mothers side, the other of my fathers. this is usually not the case though.
4 years ago (and this is my strangest experience) we had members of my mothers and fathers family, from Detroit, Wyanndotte, River Rouge, Chicago, Birmingham, Guntersville, and the Florida Keys all come to my simple 4 bedroom 2 bath house. the dinner (which also featured 3 people from church, 1 of whom passed on the next day of a terminal illness, or my mothers cooking, we werent sure which) featured over 35 people eating in my house at the same time! the heat of cooking all day leading up to the dinner made staying in the house unbearable for most, and the main dinner table was so full of food that people could barely manage to fit their plates and ended up just walking around it to reach everything. that night, 28 people stayed the night at my house. to accomodate, there were 3 blowup mattresses, 2 cots, and a pop- up camper set in our driveway. although it may seem strange, this was one of my most fun thanksgiving memories, because when you have a large family spread all over the country, its nice to get everyone together for some good food and football.

Thanksgiving in Alabama

A McCorvey Thanksgiving is an event involving at least a hundred relatives per meal-some driving all the way from Chicago, some driving ten minutes- only two or three people in the kitchen, and some of the rest at a football game. It starts at breakfast. Grandpa, who will spend the entire day smiling and making us feel loved and safe, will make a grand breakfast with lots of sausage, eggs, grits, toast, and orange juice. TV is on to the news. By lunch time BET is on, and lunch is set buffet style outside in the sun. Chicken salad on either white bread or Ritz crackers and hot dogs and chips are served, and a tub filled with twenty pounds of ice, twelve Faygo pops of assorted flavors, and coke sits nearby the door of the house. After eating, a game of tag or a race happens pitting the walking-capable youngest against the slightly less young. Soon Aunt Bernice hands out the football tickets and receives the payment for the purchased tickets. She always gets the tickets for the Tuskegee side of the stadium. We have to decide within minutes whether to walk there or take a chance that we will find a parking spot. It is sunny and a short walk, so we opt to walk. When we get there the air is charged with excitement. We get to our seats by the whole family, although Alex-one of our cousins closer to David's age- is not happy about the location. He and Uncle Fred are ASU fans, much to Aunt Bernice's chagrin. We spend the entire game staring at the clock, waiting for half time. Few come to the games for the game itself. The actual show is about to begin. Tuskegee's drum majors march out onto the field with whistles and staffs in mouth and hand. The band itself plays something serious, something to highlight the dancers, and then a final piece to get off the field. Then comes the ASU band. Their drum majors do their signature move where they lean back all the way to the ground. Dad leans over and tells me how he wishes UK's band was here to watch the spectacle. In mom's opinion the Tuskegee dancing girls are "more modest" than ASU's. The stadium is about half empty by the beginning of the second half. We are among the leavers. When we get back, two more buffet style tables are laid out, and the pop has been restocked. We aid in the kitchen, tasting where we can, and filling trays with food to be put out on the tables outside. An hour goes by before the rest of the McCorvey clan has arrived and by then we are ravenous. Grandpa prays over the food, our family, and the rest of the world, and then the oldest McCorvey's go through the line first. Then everyone else. We take what we can-or can't-eat, and we eat all we take. From the collared greens to the turkey to the beef to the macaroni, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes, pound cake and red velvet cake it is all delicious and yet painful as we consume more than we know we should. Even as it gets darker we stay outside, although some stay in, and slowly the party is reduced in size. We stay with Grandpa until we can tell he's flagging, and then we leave as well to go to Uncle Enis's grand house where my sister and I watch the incredibly large TV, my brother plays football with the two other boys in the upstairs playroom, the women move the food, and the men drink beer and watch football in the designated room by the inside pool. Before long my sister and I are begging Dad to drive us back to the hotel, and eventually he obliges. We all hug our goodbyes, load up the car, and return to the hotel where we turn Animal Planet, and soon go to bed.

Cooking with Courage

The title of this piece makes it seem as if for my Thanksgiving holiday I fed the homeless. Or did something socially-conscious and thoroughly humanitarian.

But that is hardly the case. Rather, this piece details the way in which I, for the first time in my life, assisted my father in preparing the turkey for my grossly over-fed and over-homed family. Yet, as titularly alluded, I like to think I did so in a vaguely courageous manner.

Because seeing a man cook, following the distinctly feminine decorum of the kitchen and its recipes, is like watching a bear dance to tune of an accordion-player: sure the bear can dance (albeit poorly), but eventually the foreign and seemingly cacophonous sound of the accordion will drive the bear to absolute madness such that the bear will swipe and irrevocably maim the accordion player.

Thus, on Thanksgiving afternoon, helping my dad prepare the turkey, I felt like a dancing bear. Even though preparing a turkey only takes ten minutes (heck, all your supposed to do is tie it up and rub salt and pepper on it), I grew impatient. Perhaps it was that stubborn streak of masculinity, the same shred of manhood responsible for driving men to disregard maps and instruction manuals, the same ounce of absolute idiocy that made me hate my piano teacher and scribble out ever page in my lesson-book when I was five, that made me thoroughly abhor the mere thought of following a recipe. Why the Hell should I follow the instructions of my great-grandmother? Where is the innovation in taking the directions of a woman?

So in an act of valiant defiance, an absolute re-assertion of my rights as a man, a coup-de-tat against the cult of female domesticity, a flagrant dismissal of over 70 years of family tradition, I marched into the pantry and began to plot a revolution.

I searched for weapons. Spices. Things my hick, country-bumpkin, hillbilly, Eastern-Kentucky, matriarchal-driven, Amazonian-authoratative, family could hardly imagine.

I walked out of the pantry with three containers holding respectively red-pepper, cayenne-pepper and chili-powder.

I then, in act of stoic courage reminiscent of the most heroic martyrs of all of history-Socrates, Jesus Christ, and Jan Hus-liberally applied all three to our thirteen-pound butterball turkey.

I knew not the repercussions of this most daring act. Would my family condemn me? Would I be exiled in hunger to my room? Deprived of the most excellent right to split the wish-bone? Yet I feared no punishment. For I knew I was most justified in my action. However, it would be a lie to say I was not in anyway anxious for our meal.

About three hours later, after grace was conducted by my father, we all sat down to eat.

And I'll be damned if it wasn't the most delicious turkey ever. All my family loved it. Moist. Tasty. Savory. Spicy. Tangy. Amazing. You name it.

Thus, in an act of courage I singlehandedly defeated tradition and the so-called supremacy of female cooking. Or perhaps my completely moronic masculine arrogance finally paid off in a stroke of blind-luck. Regardless, it was a indubitably terrific Thanksgiving feast.

Thanksgiving This Year

My Thanksgiving typically involves me traveling up to Columbus, Ohio to visit with a few of my close relatives, eat until we puke (then maybe eat again), and speak nothing but Greek for an entire seven days. Sounds fun, right? Not this year.

Not to say that I didn't enjoy my Thanksgiving this year, I was very appreciative of the break from the stress and weight that school and other social activities bear on one's spirit. However, I didn't quite get the treat that I annually get come the last Thursday of November. See, this year, the majority of my family decided to go down to Florida to be present for my little cousin's baptism into the Greek Orthodox Church, leaving me and my family behind to have our own little Thanksgiving. Again, it's not that I didn't enjoy Thanksgiving this year, but it gave off a very empty feeling for the first time, and that feeling wasn't quite too comfortable.

Being with only my dad (who had work for a considerably large portion of the break) gave me quite a bit of downtime to reflect on what I'm doing and where I'm going with myself next. I'd like to say that it was all really happy thoughts about achievement and success, but the truth is that it wasn't. I thought long and hard about major mistakes that I've made in my life and what I can do with them.

On a positive note, my family returns on Monday night, so while you guys are all doing homework, I get to experience a very late Thanksgiving dinner and come to school on Tuesday about ten pounds fatter. I'd say that's a plus.

Thanksgiving

Usually my family has Thanksgiving at either our house, my dad's brother's house, or my other dad's brother's house. But since all three of our us live in Lexington, we gather at one house and have Thanksgiving there. Sometimes one of my grandparents will come, another relative from out of town will show up, or one my older cousins will be out of town. On this Thanksgiving, we had about 16 people at our house, 5 from my family, 5 from my dad's brother's family, my dad's brother and his wife, my cousin, my cousin's friend and my cousins's friend's friend, and my mom's mom.

The Thanksgiving meal is pretty typical. My mom , aunts, and grandmother cook the food which usually consists of turkey, fried turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, peas, corn dressing, oyster dressing, sausage dressing, fruit and vegetables, and then a variety of desserts. Then around 1:30 or 2:00, we eat our meal together.

After we eat, we graze through desserts and pick at whatever food is left while we talk amongst ourselves. This usually lasts for hours sometimes ending at 10:00. So when everyone has left, we collapse on our beds from exhaustion and sleep like there's no tomorrow.

Thanksgiving

Each year my family uses Thanksgiving as a time to get together and enjoy being with each other. Everyone tries to contribute a dish to take the stress away from one single person. This always leaves us with plenty of food and such a variety that even if you took a little of everything, it still couldn't fit on your plate. Right before we begin to eat, we all gather around the table and pray. After this we begin filling our plates and then searching for some place to sit down and eat. There is always too many people to fit at one table so we spread out throughout the whole house. One of my favorite memories was at my grandma's house when we sat down and lined the hallway to eat because all the seats were taken.
I really enjoy any holiday because it gives me a chance to see my extended family. We all live far apart so seeing each other frequently isn't possible. Holidays bring us all together and allow us to catch up on everything that we've missed.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving in my family is not about being together, but an excuse for my parents to get all of the kids together and make us do yard work. We have a lovely meal on Thursday complete with every stereotypical thanksgiving food and deserts. The entire family helps cook the meal and if possible we will have family. Friday however, we go down to the lake. This seems really fun, then you think: wait its November what are you going to do at a lake? You’re going to winterize the boat and house which includes splitting wood, raking and burning leaves, cleaning out the boat, and so on. This is my family tradition and has been for the past 5 years. I enjoy the time with my family but being trapped in a house in the middle of nowhere with the same people for 3 days can be stressful. I love my family, but this is not the best time of year to really reminisce about the great memories from thanksgiving because they’re usually not that great.

Thanksgiving

My Thanksgiving usually involves waiting around not watching sports until a tasty meal is cooked. I'm usually this lazy and pretty grumpy by the time turkey is served. However, this year was different. I cooked.

I cooked some fine mashed potatoes. Caramelized onions, parsley, and cheese and a little bit of pepper all went into making this a dish I was actually proud of. I wasn't grumpy, tired, or unhelpful. I participated in the kitchen which meant I had a great Thanksgiving. Besides that, the meal I ate with my cousins and grandmother actually seemed like the idealistic picture. It was in a dining room, turkey in the front, plates loaded down and everyone smiling, laughing, and talking.

Thanksgiving

There's no day quite like Turkey Day; it's the one time of the year when we can throw gluttony out the window and take time to pause, reflect, and give thanks for the blessings that have been bestowed upon our lives – while gorging ourselves with the traditional staples of turkey, cranberry relish, mashed potatoes, etc. Like many Americans, my Thanksgiving is quite traditional and just as relaxing.

Each year on Thanksgiving I spend a good amount of time researching the history of the holiday. This is because history has always intrigued me and there are a lot of interesting facts to be discovered about Thanksgiving. For instance, technically speaking, the first Thanksgiving was actually celebrated by the Spaniards. After brushing up on my knowledge of the holiday, I like to spend the remainder of the day playing video games and watching movies. I do this until around 6:30, when my mother reemerges from the kitchen and tells us that dinner is ready. After 6 hours of cooking, she and my family are ready for a feast. All the traditional foods are there: turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, corn, dumplings, and cranberry relish. Once we're all situated around the dinner table, we say grace and then take turns telling what we're thankful for.

After a delicious dinner, I like to help clear the table and then proceed to relax for the rest of the evening.

it's the (second) most wonderful timeeee of the yeeeeear

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, aside from Christmas, because of the atmosphere. It would most likely be considered a logical assumption to say the same for the rest of my family, considering the fact we had three different Thanksgivings this year! Of course, we had the traditional Thursday-night feast of roasted turkey, acorn squash soup, sweet potatoes, cranberry salad, warm and fluffy cornbread, pumpkin pie, etc. with our closest friends and family, but on Friday night my family went to another family’s house for round two, then on Saturday we hosted company again. All the delicious food was thoroughly enjoyed, and it put us all in the best of moods! Even though my family isn’t American, we still avidly celebrated the holiday by taking a large load of donations to goodwill, cooking for two whole days, spending time with our close friends and loved ones, and (of course) shopping on Black Friday. I am glad that there is a holiday dedicated to thankfulness, because although we should not need ridiculous amounts of food to remind us of how blessed we truly are, it does help us to do so together.

Turkey and Taters

Normally, my Thanksgiving consists of staying at home waiting for all my family to come to my house. Usually my mom will be finishing up cooking something in the kitchen; my dad will be helping her. A few years ago I was put in charge of the sweet potato casserole, which is probably one of my favorite dishes at the table on Thanksgiving. We always have Thanksgiving lunch, so the idea of Thanksgiving dinner is super weird to me. The holiday is so wonderful because there are just so many options of what you can eat, and you don’t leave the table with just one food baby, you leave with food triplets. But my absolute best memory from Thanksgiving is when my grandfather was still alive. He and my grandmother would come down together (once their car broke down on Thanksgiving so my dad and I had to go pick them up) and when they got here, he and I would always go into the den, talk a little bit, then watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and he would catch up on some of the Lexington news. Now, I watch the parade alone once my grandmother arrives to the house because she is in the kitchen talking with my mom and dad.

Atypical Holiday

Thanksgiving is the stereotypical holiday at our household. My mother always ends up cooking a great Thanksgiving meal that takes all day long to do. The men in the household try to stay out of her way in lue of invoking the wrath of the hurricane, but we help do the simplest of simple tasks in order to try to expidite the cooking. This year, however, was a special occasion, Thanksgiving was not the only reason for celebration as the 24th of November is my mother's birthday. In addition to the little tasks we had to perform every year, we had to also try to speed up the cooking process even more. My father had the best idea; buy her a mini-oven that could be plugged into the wall. Not only were we able to give my mother a gift that she could use during the future, but we also gave her gift that allowed her to speed up the cooking process, something she liked but did not like to do all day.

Christm...err...Thanksgiving

Ah Thanksgiving, what a quaint holiday. Thanksgiving consists of three things that I like to call "The Three F's": Food, Football, and Family (roughly in that order.) I always look forward to the excesive amount of food as well as the company of family while watching football games. My father, being one of thirteen children, always spends the whole day cooking with all the family chefs as we walk around hugging, talking, and laughing with long lost family members. I can only think of one or two times that we've actually sat down at a fancy table to eat, the reason being there has almost always been too much food and too many people to fit at a fancy table. One Thanksgiving stands out more from the rest in my memories. It was one of the rare occasions that we hosted thanksgiving and my Nana and Papaw were coming down to visit. My brother, who at the time was young and helpless when it came to cleaning (and still just as much), was being kept distracted by my sister while she attempted to clean. She played a game with him where the bathroom closet became the "jail" that she would put him in. Well, when closing the door it turns out my brothers hand was smashed in between the space where the door hinges are. With his finger tip hanging on by some skin my frantic mother and father rushed him to the hospital where he preceded to make comments to the nurse that could have landed him on an episode of "Kids Say the Darnedest Things." All his well with him now and because of technology today I am unable to use the nickname "Four Fingered Frodo."

Tanhkgsivnig

To me thanksgiving is a really cool holiday, mostly just because it is so close to my birthday and gives me time to not do school stuff (until this year) and just relax to prepare myself for the 3 weeks left of school which seem to last longer than the the first 3 months of school. To describe thanksgiving in the dutch residence briefly, most of us sit around and do nothing, my older brother comes home from college wanting to play video games for 12-hour sessions, and my mom actually does stuff. She usually just buys a cheap Kroger turkey dinner and put it in the oven. When it comes to be time for the meal, which lasts about an hour and a half, we all just sit around the otherwise unused dining room table talking about the going-ons of everyday life. I don't have any embarrassing thanksgiving stories because I never do anything embarrassing.

Thanks

This Thanksgiving like last year's involved me being sick and lacking any sort of appetite. Such conditions normally don't make for an enjoyable Thanksgiving since half of this holiday is entirely focused on eating; however, the feverish hours confined in bed being cared for by my parents did make me realize how thankful I am for my family. I realized not only how thankful I am for my parents but how much I care for my brother and sister who I hadn't seen for several days since I was confined to my room.
However, Thankgiving normally is utterly unpredictable occurence. Sometimes its with extended family, sometimes its at home and other times its away; there is rarely any repetition between years and with such varying conditions come varying results. I've had great Thankgivings and absolutely awful ones. This Thanksgiving was okay. On one hand I didn't really get any delicious food which would have been a plus, but on the other hand there was time with my family.

Thanksgiving

My thanksgiving's tend to follow the same pattern: my mom and grandmother cook, I bake, my little sister hides in her room and reads, and the rest of the adults sit around and talk. Some people have huge thanksgivings and need dozens of plates and multiple tables. My family is small: I do not have many cousins (only one, in fact, and he lives in California), not do I have many aunts or uncles. Our Thanksgivings have always been small (only 8 to 12 people), so we do not have much variety in location. There is not much variation in the meal, either. Stuffing, turkey, ham, broccoli casserole, rolls, cranberry sauce, gravy, and pies are spread across a table, and we serve ourselves buffet-style. At the table, the conversation dwindles as our appetites are satisfied. After the dinner, we watch home movies and swap stories. One thanksgiving I remember as being different is that of 2009. It was four o'clock, everything was set up, and all the food was almost ready. Well, almost. The turkey was the exception. My uncle, Kevin, had gotten a large turkey, and was attempting to smoke it, but there was one problem... The smoker was smaller than the turkey! We were resolved to wait until the turkey had finished, but by six, our hunger took precedence over the turkey, and we ate without our centerpiece. My uncle continued to tend the turkey, and as we were settling down for bed at eleven o'clock that night, we heard him whooping outside. Curious, we congregated in the kitchen. The door suddenly opened wide, and my uncle walked in with a smile on his face, and his giant turkey on a platter, ready to be carved. My grandfather did the carving, and by 11:30 p.m., we all had a plate full of turkey. While the bird was a little late, it was definitely worth the wait, for it was the best turkey I could remember tasting in my whole life. My uncle, however, was not satisfied, and the very next day, he went and bought a larger smoker for next year's turkey.

Southern Proud

The best part about being Southern proud is the tradition that comes with the holidays. Our thanksgiving has always been the same with the same food and mostly the same people. Each year we eat a turkey, I don’t see how you wouldn’t eat a turkey, it’s National Turkey Day. On holidays, including this one, my mother sees fit to set out the Haviland past down for several generations- the plates are beautiful with gold hand painted around the curved edges. My family doesn’t like the idea of a children’s table so the table is always expanded as far as possible and if needed another table is brought in to accommodate all. We set out all the sterling instead of the regular knife and fork and place down the crystal water glasses along with the wineglasses (everyone drinks their main glass out of a wineglass because it looks crisper).

The meal is generally three courses with a dessert or two. We begin with a spinach salad and then the second meal is the time for all to dive in to the turkey, carved by my father or uncle depending on who is hosting, the mashed potatoes, corn pudding, sweet potatoes (ewww), rice, dinner rolls, home made gravy, and the best thing of all, the cranberry sauce homemade every year. The third course is the jello. This tradition started with my mom mom and I don’t really understand it since it is like dessert. Basically it is apricot (that is hard to find so sometimes orange or peach) jello with pineapple chunks and banana slices and then covered in a pineapple custard covered mixed with homemade whipped cream. That sounds pretty gross, way too sugary, yes? I agree. The dessert usually is a selection from 2 or 3 pies: pecan, pumpkin, or pumpkin cheesecake (which tastes nothing like pumpkin).

I like the holiday because I get to see family and eat really good food. I also like the football which we always play as well. There is just something funny about seeing your short father and short maternal uncle run around trying to tackle your very large brother-in-law and cousin. This is probably the strangest memory of the holiday I have.

Thanksgiving

My thanksgiving experience is a fairly traditional one in terms of food. We eat turkey, gravy, stuffing, ham, pumpkin pie, etc.. However the rest of the day isn't as typical. I have thanksgiving with family friends I have known for years. There are usually about nine or ten of us, and we gather at a house around 4, eat at 5, and don't stop until 8 or 9. We eat a lot like everyone else and afterwards sit around like the lards we are. Instead of watching a football game we usually play a game such as fictionary, dominoes, or charades and tell our many running jokes. Or we tease someone about their dish that didn't quite go according to plan (of which there are many). I wouldn't say that thanksgiving is a particularly special holiday for my family, but we always have fun and eat a lot.

My Thanksgiving

Because my family is Japanese, my whole family does not celebrate Thanksgiving; instead, just my family that lives in America (dad, mom, brothers) does. Our Thanksgiving includes a lot of the traditional foods in vast amounts but with less people to eat it. I enjoy the holiday because it’s a great opportunity to spend time with family and relax after not having any breaks from school for so long. It’s also a chance for my brother to come back from college for the first time since leaving in August. He doesn’t come back that often because his college is in North Carolina and it’s hard to come back for just a couple of days. Although my grandparents and family in Japan do not visit America (nor do we go to them) for Thanksgiving, New Years is like the same holiday for our culture. Our whole family gets together for New Years every year and has a ton of food to celebrate, as well as give thanks for the whole year. The purpose is the same as Thanksgiving, just with different food.

How to Make the Best Thanksgiving Sandwich Ever

Thanksgiving is an incredible holiday filled with many delicious and filling foods. But once that day is gone, you feel like the leftover Thanksgiving food is not as good as it was on actual Thanksgiving. But that is only because you have never made the wonderful Thanksgiving Sandwich. This sandwich is a new take on Thanksgiving leftover dining and makes those leftovers become much more appealing.

First gather and prepare your supplies. You will need turkey meat, gravy, dressing, cheese, and bread.

Take a simple piece of bread and lay it on a plate. Then place however much turkey meat you want on the bread. Then cover the turkey meat with cheese and pile dressing on top of the cheesy turkey. Put this aside for now.

Pull out another plate and place another piece of bread on it. Now take the gravy and soak the bread with gravy until it's nice and soggy. Then place this gravy-bread on top of the cheesy turkey piled with dressing. Now finish the sandwich by adding another layer of dressing on top of the gravy-bread and add another layer of cheesy turkey. Then top off of the sandwich with a final piece of bread. Enjoy!

Well, there you have it. The best Thanksgiving Sandwich ever to be made.

Assignment 14: Flying Turkeys

The stock image Thanksgiving involves a lot of people around a nicely decorated table with a large turkey and a ridiculous amount of extra food. This image doesn't always depict the reality of the holiday though.

What does your Thanksgiving look like? Do you enjoy the holiday? What is your strangest or most wonderful memory of the holiday?

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, November 27 at 11:59 pm

How to Watch The Iron Giant

The Iron Giant is a film that is highly renowned as holding an important nostalgic place in many peoples' hearts. Having said that, it is also my least favorite movie of all time. Why? I can't really explain it, but all 3 or 4 times that I've watched this, it has bored me to tears. So, if I were to have to watch this movie again today, here's how I would go about doing it:

1. First, I would have to find a cold, dark room with only a TV and DVD player in it. This is especially important so I could better experience the cold, unfeeling mood that this movie portrays to me.

2. Second, to get me to even have to agree to watch this movie, you would probably have to kidnap me and strap my eyes open in a very Clockwork Orange-esque fashion. That way I couldn't get up and leave the room out of sheer distaste.

Following these steps, you too could be on your way to watching my least favorite movie. And not only that, this could apply to any of your most hated movies or shows!

How to dreadlock like a pro.

1. Wash your hair. Yes, you heard me, wash your hair.

2. Separate your hair into a grid, each square containing a lock of hair.

3. Proceeding from back to front, take a strong comb and back-comb each of these locks until nice and dready.

4. Rubber band each of these new dreads (not to be taken out for at least a week).

5. Sleep on your very sore scalp (Don't worry, it's gone in the morning).

6. Rehearse an explanation of your reasons for getting dreadlocks because no doubt every single person you know will question your mental stability.

7. Also rehearse comebacks for all of the jerks who will take pride in insulting your new hairstyle.

8. Build up a willpower. This willpower should be able to deflect all doubts in your mind about taking out your dreadlocks (believe me, there's lots of this).

9. Enjoy! Some people will compliment you!

Procrastination 101

Do it tomorrow.

how to "clean your room"

We've all had parents on our backs to clean our room. "It's so dirty in here!" or "I can't even see the floor!"-- we've all heard it before.

Well now, "clean your room" has now been translated in my mind into "make it look clean." That means it doesn't actually have to be clean!

First off, pick up all the clothes from the ground. You don't have to put it away yet; just throw them in the laundry basket. Chances are, somebody will do the laundry and fold the clothes for you. Look at that, less work for you!

Next, rearrange the things on your desk. Throw trash away. Make it look neat. As long as your parents don't inspect the dust that's probably piling up there, it'll look clean!

Now you have to make your bed. Personally I never understood the point of making your bed when you just get right back in it at night. However, nevertheless, it makes your room look clean, so might as well do it.

You're basically done now. It's very shallow cleaning but it should stop your parents' nagging!

How to Dress Well

"The purpose of clothing is not to conceal your naked body, but rather to make people want to see it." These words, spoken by the great Barrett Block, resound with the truth. For, if clothing does not make the wearer look their best, why should they be worn? Instead, a man must learn to dress sharply, because, as everyone knows, first impressions are the most important. Although it may seem like a challenge, learning to dress well is a simple process. This is because dressing well only requires two main rules: make sure the colors of your clothes do not match, and make sure that your clothes fit properly.

I am heartbroken to say that I have witnessed many atrocious color combinations in my day. They have ranged from neon orange pants with a dark green shirt to a black sports jacket with brown shoes. Such fashion fiascos should never occur. This is because matching the colors of your clothes is not hard by any means. It just consists of memorizing a few simple rules. Such rules are as follows: navy blue and black do not go together, do not wear blue and green without a color in between, when in doubt, go neutral. In short, the simplest way to ensure that you are matching is to dress conservatively in terms of colors.

Perhaps the most common offense committed by men is the practice of buying and wearing ill-fitting clothes. This I don't understand. Buying the right size of clothes is much easier than matching the colors of your clothes. It doesn't even require that much thought aside from knowing what is your true size. Granted, it is a difficult task to find the perfect fit when shopping for a suit. This is when tailoring comes into importance. It is a relatively cheap thing to have done, and the product (a well-fitted suit) is well worth the price because it will make you look your best.

How to succeed in AP chemistry

Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study.
Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. Study. And once more, study. That, my friends, is how to succeed in AP chemistry.

How to ice skate

Although the though of gliding with two blades on ice may seem daunting, it is not as intimidating as it may seem.

1. start off with proper attire: you will be skating at an ice rink meaning the temperature will be somewhat cold and you do not want to be freezing your but off while you are trying not to fall on it. Wear layers and clothing that allows you to move about easily and don't forget socks and gloves.

2. make sure that your skates fit you and are not killing your feet: your feet not be squashed the skates but they shouldn't have lots of room to wabble around in either. Also be sure that your skates are tied as tight as possible, your don't want your ankles moving side to side when you stand up or start skating.

3. Once on the ice take little steps. Pretend that your almost marching on the ice. Be sure to keep your weight over your skates (don't lean forwards or backwards). You may want to start off by the wall so that you may catch yourself and keep your self up while you getting used to the ice.

4. Watch out for toe picks! Toe picks are those spikes at the tip of the blade and if you hit them while your skating forwards your basically guaranteed a face slam onto the ice. This mostly comes from leaning too far forward so be sure to keep your shoulders over your hips.

5. Remember that everything takes time especially if your don't skate regularly. It takes time and practice to get good at anything so don't be discouraged even if you don't get it right away. Good luck!

How to know when your dog needs to go outside

Everyone who has had a dog (which is essentially everyone worth knowing) knows that dogs need to go outside for various reasons, the most obvious being the functions of the excretory system. But how do you know whether a dog really wants to go outside or is interested in something else? In this How-to I will explore this question in depth.
The most basic way a dog can tell you that it wants to go outside is through a bark. Long ago, the ancestors to modern dogs discovered that if they wanted to communicate with us humans, the easiest way was by using their vocal chords. It didn't take long for these dogs to discover that their brains were far too underdeveloped to learn human language, so they were forced to resort to barking at humans to get their attention and waiting for the more developed human brain to go to work translating the bark. The human was then expected to do whatever the dog wanted. Dogs had this down to a science, but unfortunately, this symbiosis was interrupted by the human invention of distractions. Be it a television, a book, or just pure laziness, these distractions threw off the natural order by interfering with the human's ability to translate the bark, and making the dog just seem annoying. The best thing you can do to recognize when a dog needs to go outside is to never be distracted. Instead, spend every moment following the dog and waiting for it to ask to go outside.This will prevent something as simple as "Get up off your lazy butt and open the door for me" from sounding like "I want to eat; get me some grub" or "I'm really bored; we should play fetch." The sad part is that most people are distracted all the time and are therefore unaware that dogs know how to communicate these things through bark.
The other big way to recognize a dog's need to go outside is by watching the physical signs. Sometimes dogs forget that barks are an effective form of communication, and so their desire to go outside is displayed through instinct-driven physical signs. It is important to watch these signs, but you need to be aware that the signs can be rather discreet. When a dog scratches on the door, that is quite obviously a sign that the dog wants to go outside, but there other signs that you should look for. So when you see your dog squatting on the corner of your fancy rug, don't be offended; the dog can't control its instinct. Instead of getting mad at a dog that was only doing what its body told it to, get up and open the door.

How To Convert People Into The Mormon Religion

Hello! This is Elder Cunningham. After my success in Africa, I have figured out the ins and outs of converting people to the true form of Christianity, Mormonism. I even went to Uganda and was able to convert some of the most sketchy people one can imagine. The most successful way to convince people to convert to Mormonism is to lie to them. Take the case of Africans, many of them have AIDS, if you tell the Africans that their AIDS will be cured if they become Mormons, they will convert. If you tell Africans, that Joseph Smith can make the clouds rain, then they will convert to Mormonism. And lies do not just work for Africans, they work for everyone! If you tell Chinese people that the Book of Mormon teaches them how to automatically have boys as children, they will convert to Mormonism. The point is that if you lie to people and tell them something that they want to hear, they will believe it. And that is how to convert people into Mormons.

How To Swim Free Style (thank you EAP)

First things first, you need to find a body of water, preferably a pool, to swim in. You also need to get clothes on that won’t drag too much or else you will be slow regardless of how well you swim; suggested clothes would be a swim suit for both the boys and girls. Goggles are optional but are recommended for eyes to stay open and not be irritated by chlorine in the pool or other debris in various bodies of water. Check that you have everything on correctly, and that you have no other accessories on that would cause drag (i.e. bracelets, watches, etc.). Once you have all needed materials, including the pool, get into the shallow water.

One of the most important parts of freestyle is floating on top of the water. To accomplish this lay on your back and keep head backwards. DO NOT LOOK UP! If your head moves up your feet will drop and your body will be submerged under water. Once flotation on back is complete, flip over with your head under water. Keeping the same exact position is key when floating on your stomach. Now that you know how to float let’s get into how to kick; toes need to be firmly pointed so that your leg is straight. Go back into floating position and kick your legs but keep your leg straight with only a little bend in the knee with each kick. You should now be able to go some distance with your body straight on top the water and just kicking your legs. 

By now you have half of your stroke down but we still need the pull, which is done by the arms. You need to lie on your stomach, as before, and keep your hands in front of you. To begin, pull one arm back; while doing this push as much water back with your hand as you possibly can and break the surface of the water.  As you pull back, you should be turning, which would make your other arm stretch out as far as it can go. THE TURN SHOULD START AT YOUR SHOULDER AND FLOW DOWN YOUR ENTIRE BODY! This is called completing the stroke. That is a rough example of how to pull. To perfect the pull, flip up your wrist when it breaks the water’s surface; this will give a lot more power and it is proper technique. To make sure your arms are going back far enough, glide your thumb across your thigh every time your arm comes back.  Always keep your hand in a cup like form, this will allow you to push more water out of the way and won’t slap the surface of the water as it goes in.

Once you have accomplished this, you need to know how to breathe. Simply take a breath TO THE SIDE of your body, NOT THE FRONT. It should be into your armpit when your arm is in the arch above the water. Make sure you breathe into the arm that is in the stroke, not the one that is recovering (the one in the water). This cannot be accomplished correctly if you do not turn as instructed. We now need to put everything together. Float in the water with your head down, and then start taking strokes (this is just called pull). Start your kick while you are in the pull, it should just flow together. 

Now you can successfully swim freestyle with good technique. Remember to float and to keep your head down. To have a powerful kick, try not to bend your knees too much. Always carryout your stroke, if you don’t carryout your stroke it won’t get you anywhere and it will be choppy. Good technique requires less energy and makes you faster. That’ll help you escape a killer great white or just beat your friend at the pool. 

How to be everyone's favorite Jew

This one is difficult, but not as daunting a task once started. The very first step can be done one of two ways, either be born out of a Jewish mother, or undergo the unnecessarily long process that is conversion. My knowledge is confined to the first option so I recommend it. Once this step is over with, get prepared for a Bar Mitzvah-every official Jew walks around with one of these under their belt. The one year of Hebrew and Jewish ethics study has to begin somewhere, the best place to start would be in your rabbi’s office. You write your sermon, acknowledge the elderly, lead your ‘family’ through a weekend of warship of you, party with your closest friends, and deposit your hard earned profits in the bank and what do you know-you are on the fast lane to being everyone’s favorite Jew. A few more tips that will help you keep this position: take no offense to holocaust jokes, be unnaturally obsessed with money, use Yiddish words, be president of the math club, busy yourself at the temple at least once a week, and always have a backup yamacha in your backpack.

How to annoy a cat

Cats. So smug, so confident. As they waltz down your hallway, they seem immovable as stone, and more arrogant than one would think possible. However, if you know how, you can tear down their smug façade with anything from a laser pointer to a simple strip of tape. Here are some of the best ways of pissing off your family pet.

• Cats can be affectionate, but only on their terms. One way of annoying a cat is to scoop him up and cuddle with him when he clearly does not wish to be cuddled. Sweet talk him, sing him a silly song, and smother him with affection. This will guarantee hatred from your cat for a short while.
• We all know laser pointers can be fun, especially in class. Whenever the teacher's back is turned, the annoying red dot appears on the board, or on a poster, and the class begins to snicker. The objective of the user in the class is to not let the teacher see the dot. When playing with a laser pointer at home, around your cat, the objective changes: once the cat sees the dot, he will have no choice but to frantically pursue it all over the house, but without success. The red dot will elude his grasp, no matter how vigorously he chases.
• Tape: useful in so many ways. One of the less obvious uses for this wonderfully adhesive material is complete annoyance of your cat. Take a small piece of any kind of tape, preferably duct tape, and place it on your cat's fur at the base of his skull, or anywhere else out of reach to him. Then watch as he struggles to remove the infuriating strip.
• One last way of annoying your cat is humiliation. Dress him up in cute little outfits and have ridiculous photo shoots. He will either lay on the ground and stare at you in hatred or struggle until he escapes from his adorable outfit.

In short, annoying a cat is a simple way of wasting a few minutes of your life. Please remember, though, that your cat is part of your family, and reward the cat with love and treats after you finish your annoying antics.

Getting Lost

Whether one is in a large city, vast forest, or an expansive lake getting completely and hopelessly lost takes a surprising amount of skill. I truthfully can’t find my way around the town I’ve lived in my entire life and thus few have better qualifications than me in regards to getting lost. Although my own skills might come from some form of talent, these two easy practices can cause a person to become lost.

• Being completely oblivious to ones surroundings by ignoring notable and distinct landmarks, distracting oneself with music, or rushing through an area is a key factor in becoming lost.
• Not leaving any way of being found through the use of markers or help from a friend or family member who is actually capable of getting you out of this horrible situation.

Such practices as well as natural tendencies including short term memory and a poor sense of direction should aid one in his/her attempts at getting lost.

How to Pick a Lock using Household Objects

In elementary school, my life was revolutionized for a time by a series of books about a school for kids they trained to be secret agents. In the aftermath of reading these I really wanted to be some sort of spy, or criminal, or escaped convict and learned how to pick a lock. I actually got really good at it and found that it was really helpful since I have a tendency to lose my keys a lot. I still remember how to do it though and plan on sharing this knowledge with you. I would like to preface this by saying that this skill is for constructive purposes only!
1.) Know your lock. Most locks have cylinders in them and can be easily picked by moving a series of pins holding them up.
2.) Assuming that you do not have a tension wrench with you. You can use a paperclip and a bobby pin.
3.) Take the paper clip and straighten it out. Bend the very end of the clip to form a little L on the end of it.
4.) Take the bobby pin and bend the entire thing sideways against itself to form an L with the whole thing.
5.) Stick the bobby pin in the bottom part of the lock. You need to turn it both ways to figure out which way the lock opens. You should be able to feel which side has more give when you turn it.
6.) Use the paperclip to unlock all of the pins. Insert the pin at the top of the lock with the L pointing upwards. Start at the back of the lock and try to push up each of the pins.

~ There are typically four to five pins. The lock should give a little more with each pin you undo, so keep the bobby pin firmly turned as far as you can go. Practice some your house lock but remember to use this skill responsibly!

How To Get Nervous

You have a solo, which you KNOW you deserve. Congratulations! But of course you must know there is someone else out there who believes-maybe accurately- that they deserve it more than you do. So here are all the things you need to know in order to be sufficiently nervous before your big gig.

First of all, you are not the greatest at what you are doing. There is someone else in your ensemble whose voice is undoubtedly more angelic than yours. Sing well and practice until it is perfect, for they will judge you.

Also keep in mind that you cannot practice enough. For you to be as good as you think you are (and you're not), then you must practice more than a measly hour, which you probably don't have. But practice does not actually make perfect because perfection is unattainable, and your practicing didn't sound anywhere NEAR perfect. Remember all your shortcomings in your performing? Yeah. You can't fix those immediately. They come with time, which you don't have.

And remember that person in the audience who you want to impress? Yeah. They are here. And they know your reputation-deserved or not. So if you don't deliver a 200 percent performance then they WILL be disappointed. Oh, your parents are there for support to. They might be recording this. It will sound terrible on the recording. Whether or not the apparatus is known for quality recording or not, it will sound horrendous.

Oh yeah! And remember that idiosyncratic habit you have when you stand in front of that GIGANTIC and JUDGEY audience? Do try not to do that. Your attempts will be in vain-as you well know, but you can try anyway for kicks and giggles. Do you hear your heartbeat? You might start sweating soon. Congratulations on wearing the ONE shirt you own that shows sweat. But maybe that's a good thing. Your sub par performance will be ignored in favor of paying attention to your sweatiness. How gross.

So congratulations on your solo. But your nerves, while completely irrational, are gonna be there too.

How to Use Homework as an Excuse

The majority of people have those days when they just don't feel like doing anything. But when your parents ask you to do chores, saying I don't feel like it doesn't work. That's when I turn to homework. If you're going to try to use homework as an excuse, there are a couple of things you need to do.

When I sit down to do homework, I am normally in the living room. The first step to selling homework as an excuse is your backpack. I normally place it right at my feet so it is easily within reach. The next step is to open it and get out some "work" to do. Any subject will do, but the bigger than book, the more overwhelmed you look. This will lead to less interruptions from your parents. If you really want to make it convincing, there are other small steps you can take. One is pulling out your calculator if your "working on math homework," or simply holding a pencil in your hand.

Next you need to hide what your'e actually doing. For example, if you are watching T.V. turn down the volume. It doesn't have to be muted, but if it's blaring your parents might begin to think of it as a distraction. If you want to play on the computer, then make sure you have an old paper on Microsoft ready to pull up in case your parents decide to wonder by. Lastly, if you're texting someone on the phone, you need help on your homework and are just asking a question.

So the next time you are being pestered by your parents to do chores, try this simple solution and avoid any jobs.

How to Water-ski

You will seldom ever encounter an activity as fundamentally enjoyable and uniquely thrilling as water-skiing. While the experience of rushing across the water on a pair of skis may seem alien and elusive, it is incredibly easy to do. I personally assure that afforded the following directions and any modicum of physical coordination and mental determination, you will soon be skiing before you know it.

1.      Be Confident: As with any endeavor it is imperative you pursue skiing with eagerness and confidence. Naturally it may seem impossible for you to stand on the water. But it truly isn’t. I’ve been skiing since I was a kid. And in my time skiing I have taught dozens and dozens of people, from four to forty, of all sizes, sexes, and shapes, how to ski. It is much easier than you think it is. Just smile, and enjoy yourself.

2.      Preparation: Before you get in the water, make sure, for safety, you are wearing a life-jacket. Next, with the help of a person on the boat, put on the skis as you sit on the swim-platform located at the rear of the boat. Skis are not foot specific, so it doesn’t matter which one you put on your right or left foot. Most bindings on skis are adjustable. So adjust them to a size that fits somewhat snugly. You know what they say about skiers with big feet? They have big bindings. If you have trouble putting them on, don’t get frustrated. Just wet them in the lake as to utilize nature’s lubrication.

3.      Getting in the Water: With the skis on, slide off the swim platform of the boat. Now you are floating. Do not worry if you feel as awkward as a Turk in a room full of Armenians. The buoyancy of the ski always feels foreign to every new skier. Do not be alarmed if they float in bizarre directions, or if you spin around in a strange way. Just relax, lean back, and allow the skis to surface. Do not fight them. That will only make you tired. So now, as you lay on your back in the water with your skis in front pointing towards the back of the boat, grab ahold of the ski rope. Soon, the driver of the boat will see you are ready and will idle slowly as to bring the handle to you. Just let rope pass through your hand, and wait. This is a wonderful time to check out all the eye-candy on the lake.

4.      The Wedge: This is the most important step. But also the easiest. Once you reach the handle of the rope, the boat will momentarily stop moving as to allow you to get into the position of the wedge. First, grab the handle with both hands in an over-handed fashion. Next, bring your knees as tightly up to your chest as possible and wrap your arms around them—just as if you were performing a cannonball. Point the skis at about a forty-five degree angle (Pi-fourths radians), and have them straddling the ski rope. Have the tips of both be about a foot out of the water. Keep the skis apart by no more than a foot. Have most of your weight leaning back. This position is the wedge. The wedge is your friend. If you can stay in the wedge, you can ski. Getting up to ski is essentially as simple as doing a cannonball. I will repeat this again. Stay in the wedge. And once more: stay in the wedge. For if I were in the boat with you, I would yell it to you a hundred times. It is truly this simple. If you do nothing but remain in the wedge, you will ski. Now, I am positive your first time in the wedge you will waddle and lean to either side in a real disconcerting manor. But yet again, I urge you not to fight it. Just as new drivers over-correct steering and braking, so do new skiers over-correct wobbling as to further destabilize themselves. Just keep your hands on the handle, and don’t worry.

5.      Stay in the Wedge: Now, the boat driver will take off when you tell him to go. Make sure you are securely in the wedge such that your arms are wrapped around your knees, and your knees are up to your chest. Tell the driver to go.

6.      Stay in the Wedge Even More: As the boat driver is taking off do not do anything—except remain in the wedge holding on to the handle. And do nothing more, namely standing up too early, or tugging on the handle, seeing as either of these will result in you falling (which is not in any way shape or form painful or scary). If you tug on the rope, slack will get into the line. And you will fall backwards. If you stand up too quickly, you lose your center of gravity, and you will most likely fall forward.

7.      No One is Perfect: Never have I seen a person ski on their first try. Or even their second. Consistently people fail to stay in the wedge. Yet, if you don’t at first succeed, try again. And don’t become frustrated. I didn’t learn my first day, but now I am the best skier on my lake. And remember if you try too many times in one day, a half-dozen perhaps, you’ll be too tired to succeed, no matter how good of shape you are in. Take a break. And rest. And I am sure you will come back and be better than ever.

8.      You’re on the Water: It’ll all be a blur—like the night of a girl who didn’t watch her drink so carefully at the bar. But if you stay in the wedge, you will be on the water and skiing. For a while maintain that crouched and low position. Yet very gradually, begin to stand upright. Straighten your knees some, but not all the way. Keep your butt low and behind you. And when you stand, do not tug on the rope. Once you are standing. Relax. I cannot express how fulfilling this moment is. Or the limitless fun you have waiting ahead of you. Congratulations. You are now an official skier.