Zombies

This is the most amazing prompt we've ever had.

First of all, call up all of my friends. This is one of the most important steps, especially before landlines go down. After confirming who is alive and ready and who is now a moaning shell of what they once used to be, I start filling jugs with water. That's extremely important. Movies don't do justice to how much water humans actually need or consume. Run the tubs and sinks until full and fill cups and glasses with water before the water is shut off.

Next, I'd start preparing for a journey to the predetermined point, Calvin's grandparents' house. Pack up all the water, spare gas, and weapons I'd need into the car and take the most indirect (i.e. traffic-less) route to the isolated farm. From there, after meeting up with everyone's family, send a scout group to the Lexington airport, call (if cell phones still work) back to the farm and tell the rest to come along. Then, steal (hey, it's the end of the world!) a jet large enough to take everyone's families and fly north, to the point where zombies freeze.

Obviously, this travel plan has been given much thought. However the do's and don't's of packing have been even more meticulously planned. No loud guns (i.e. shotguns) Only silenced weapons or crossbows. No fuel-consuming weapons (i.e. chainsaws/lawnmowers). In the way of vehicles, bikes have been proven the best way of zombie escape. Stress-test all weaponry before applying to zombie skulls. Pistols aren't the ultimate zombie weapon, as movies assert. In fact, many of the weapons seen in zombie movies are, in reality, ineffective.

Most of travel and survival hinges on one fact. Zombie speed. If the zombies are slow, then all hasn't failed. They're easy to escape and kill except in enclosed areas. However, if zombies are fast, then there are problems. That means that certain zombies might have been muscular when human and can now chase down a horse (they don't feel pain/cramps).

It's not impossible to live through the zombie apocalypse. Just disillusion yourself from the movies. Only headshots kill, no body shots. Zombies don't feel pain or emotions like humans do. They are the ultimate killing machine. Zombies can smell/see/hear a human from miles and will moan to alert others. In unfortunate situations, they can ring in zombies from miles around simply through a chain of moaning.

The zombie apocalypse isn't all serious, starving, merely surviving. It can include fun. In fact, without fun, the moaning of the zombies would drive everyone mad. So play some Monopoly!