How to Math

At school I hear a lot of complaining about how hard math is. Personally I find it quite easy, but that might be due to the fact that I have already completed my journey into the Polar Mountains to slay the Derivative Dragon and steal a copy of the Calculonomicon from right from under the noses of the Math Monks. If one wishes to become an adept master of arithmancy, he or she will need a few supplies:

• The Collinear Cuirass will keep you safe from the fierce cold of the mountain and the claws of the Derivative Dragon.
• The Cartesian Compass allows for easy navigation of the mountain.
• The Diadem of Descartes will grant you the Soul of the Sine, allowing you to vanquish the Derivative Dragon.
• The Symmetric Sword is a necessary weapon for dealing with both the dragon and the vicious Binomial Beasts of the mountain.
• The Toes of Trigonometry are a pair of slippers that will allow you to sneak past the Math Monks with ease.

Once you have gathered all of these items and your necessary provisions for the trip, all you have to do is climb the mountain. There will be a hideous dragon at the top, directly outside of the Median Monastery. Once you slay the dragon, sneak inside and make your way to the Logarithmic Library, being careful to not be caught by any monks. Inside the library there will be a display case holding the Calculonomicon: a book of lore that unlocks the secrets of mathematics for all who read it.