The best prompt ever conceived.

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, you will find no finer plan than the one created by the zombie survival squad of which I am a member. However, before a plan is devised, one must realize the potential futility of these efforts. If the disease is airborne, God help you. Abandon all hopes of permanent survival and live your final moments to their fullest. However, if the infection spreads via parasite (the most likely option when considering zombie apocalypses), then this plan serves as a viable process to continue your life, and maybe even humanity as we know it.

We all know that failing to prepare is preparing to fail. As soon as a massive, non-quarantineable outbreaks is noticed, form a group of people you are compatible with and gather every supply possible. Backpacks, food, drink, sleeping bag, pencil, paper, and anything else that you can see yourself using in the apocalyptic hardships to come. And be sure to bring a sustainable amount of them; no supplies means no survival. And remember this: the key to survival is conservation.

You will definitely need to fight through the horde now and again, so be sure to get the appropriate weaponry as well. Do not fall into the common Hollywood trap of bringing chainsaws. They are cumbersome (mobility is a virtue), they are a gasoline glutton, and they make too much noise, attracting the zombies to your location. Bring a knife; it has many obvious practical uses, and has the ability to cut through flesh. For guns, an SMG is preferable. It is light and compact, and when coupled with a silencer, it is fairly quiet. A sniper is also good for  designated snipers to protect the stronghold in which you decide to take refuge. But be aware; only headshots count.

In deciding where to go with your survival squad, choose an ultimate destination that is secluded from other humans/once-humans. These areas will contain fewer undead and more space to run, or build upon, if you so choose. Take forts along the way to the destination; move from fort to fort. Large buildings with few doors and windows are best. For example, Sam's Club is large, somewhat open, and allows few entries for the zombies. It also has tons of supplies, and is easily defendable.

So there is your barebones guide to zombie survival. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me or any other members of my squad, whose names I am unfortunately not at liberty to mention.