I am Facebook. Here Me Roar.

Well, I can't really tell you what's going on with my life, today. I don't really have much of a life, you see. I consider myself a bit of a voyeur; I listen in on other people's conversations, and occasionally put my own two cents in. But if you wanted to know exactly when Tim and Anna started going out, I'm your man. I can tell you anything that your friends have been doing, because that's all I really have to do in my life. It is a remote, yet useful life, I'm sure. Just for example, I'm sure you really didn't need to hear this from me to know it, but Skyrim's launch was all the rage on Friday night. I mean, people are still talking about it! I know it seems a bit creepy for me to be looking at everybody else's lives, but think about it; how different would your life be without me?