My definition of a person's character should not be everybody else's. Sure, I'm going to formulate my own opinions about people and things, but they are my opinions, and not anybody else's. I can't tell you exactly what defines selfishness and selflessness for anybody but myself. The easiest real-world example of this, for me, would definitely be the concept of drug abuse and how it defines a person. I have friends that believe that drug abusers tend to be horrible people, but my belief is that specific qualities such as that do not define one's character. Rather, people's actions as a whole (throughout their life) define how good or evil they've been. Now, I can't criticize the beliefs of my friends on the basis that said beliefs are not mine. It isn't my place to tell others what to think.
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